Pen Thievery

General Pen Thievery Information:

We know how you feel! Nothing is worse than losing a pen. The following is helpful information that will guide you through the pain and let you know there are others out there dealing with the same thing. You are never alone.

Do you know that feeling?

You know that feeling when all you want to hear from anyone in your first class of the day is, “Wow, how did you get so many pens!” or to hear them whisper to the person beside them, “I wish I had all of those freakin' pens!”?

What about the feeling you get when instead, the first thing out of your classmate’s mouth is,

“Do you have an extra pen I can borrow?”

Yes, you do. But the trust that would allow you to hand over one of your precious pens is just not built between the two of you yet. You aren’t sure they can comprehend the magnitude of your generosity.

Do they understand how deep of a loss it would be for you if they chose to keep instead of return that single pen? Do they intend to borrow it only for this class period?

Do they know that feeling?

No one wants to be in that position. If you have experienced the loss of a pen, you know how difficult it has become to part from your writing utensils.

There are many career fairs, conferences and conventions in this world. Find your pen. Go ahead, and build your collection. But even if you don’t choose to own your own pens, always return a borrowed pen.

Stop stealing pens from those that value them.

Watch this heartbreaking pen thievery video and see the shocking statistics. 

Claremont the Pen on Prezi

Prevention:

You can take action in several ways to prevent pens from being stolen. Whether you have a problem with strangers swiping your writing utensils, or if people you know intimately are constantly betraying your trust, there is hope for you yet. Use one or more of these five tactics to lead you into the paradise of pen security:

1 Early Intervention

 
Does your child have the tendency to steal other people's belongings? It started with her playmate's doll - don't let it end with your pen. Adopt early intervention strategies to keep your child from becoming a pen kleptomaniac. From the first signs of kleptomania, make sure your child knows that stealing pens, above anything else, is NOT okay. Use this tactic in combination with some of the others to successful train your child out of pen theft.
Start working on kleptomania with your child. 

2 Protection By Falsities

 
It's a beautiful day at the office. You are golden and glowing - you just bought yourself some new pens and can't wait to use them at work!

Suddenly, your coworker Theodore walks through your office door.

"Hey!" he says. "Got a pen I can borrow?"

Your reply: "No, Theodore, I'm fresh outta pens!"

You smile, knowing you will get to keep your precious new pens, for the rest of the day at least.

Use this tactic daily, and your lies will keep people away from your writing utensils.

3 Disclaimers

 
Before you start working anywhere, make sure your boss and coworkers know the terms and conditions of your providing services to their operation. This could be anything from asking that they not talk to you in the morning before you have your coffee, to requesting - respectfully, but forcefully - that NO ONE TOUCHES YOUR PENS.

Give them a disclaimer assertive enough, and there is little chance your pens will go missing.

Caution: Use your discretion in the delivery of this disclaimer - you still want to have a job after you state your demands.  

4 Decoys

 
With this tactic, you can do one of two things: place an absolutely fake pen in place of yours OR leave pens out that absolutely no one will want to borrow.

For the first strategy, you will want to find a pen that looks like a pen, but has no ink or is not truly usable. Leave these lying around when you're not around to babysit your pen collection, and people will stop seeing your pens as valuable.

Alternatively, you could buy pens like this to deter people form stealing them. People identify with their pens - no one wants to identify with these, believe me.  

5 Guilt and/or Fear

 
Is someone making a habit of swiping your pens? Try the guilt or fear tactic, whichever one would apply most to this particular acquaintance. 

To instill guilt in a more mousy or shameful individual, simply walk around your office looking very morose. Cry a little bit when you see other people using pens - this works wonders. You're sure to see your pen back on your desk by the end of the day. 

You try the guilt tactic and your coworker doesn't seem to be phased by your heartbreak. Maybe you need to make them worry about their well-being, instead. Bring your father's shotgun to work (bullets emptied), and smile creepily at your coworker while you clean it. This is a classic example. 

If that is too bizarre an approach to intimidation, try staring them down every time you see them. If you stare long enough, your eye and lip will start to twitch. This is called the "rabies face." Giving coworkers the rabies face will undoubtedly scare them into returning your pen by closing time, for fear of contracting whatever disturbing disease you have.